He met a girl. She was unlike anyone he’d ever met before. You see, he was always very particular about his kind of girl. He was sure about the attributes he desired. The girl had to fit a certain criteria. She didn’t fit. She was nothing like the girl with whom he could be in love, but everything like the girl with whom he should be in love.
Her smile personified innocence. He was convinced that anyone who saw her smile could never know sadness again. Her crackle knew no bound. She laughed without any regard for conventions. It was infectious.
He beheld her as she chuckled. She looked away, pretending not to look at him. But then would look toward him from the corner of her eye. He was still enthralled by her face. She would smile again. This time with a tinge of shyness that starts from eyes.
Her eyes were big and brown. And clear and pretty as lake Winnipesaukee. Perfect symmetry. As if God wanted to show-off when he created this pair. He wished he could explain her eyes better. Yes, those eyes had a language of their own; yes, they were window into her beautiful soul; yet, they were more. Much more. He wanted to be guided by her eyes. He couldn’t be sure what was so truly remarkable about them, but they sure spoke more than her lips and sometimes not in sync.
Oh and what a joy it was to watch her talk. The way her jaw moved, the way her lips swirled. It was breathtaking. Her lips commanded to be kissed. And kissed well. Perfect bow-shaped, full lips. ‘Such a shame it would be for those lips to be touched by someone who didn’t know how to honor them,’ he thought. He wanted to show her what she must expect of a kiss. He wanted to show her how those lips deserve to be kissed.
They kissed. He couldn’t believe he was kissing her. He waited for her to signal before going deeper. He looked to her eyes. They were shut. He was glad actually as they would be such a distraction right now. He felt her smile during the kiss. That filled him with joy.
She too leaned in. As if she was kissing her previous self. She saw in him a soul reflection. She was melting, as the kiss grew deeper. The only part that seemed to remain real of her was the part he grasped. He clutched her entire body with the fear that she might just thaw.
It started raining outside. She lay in his arms. He smelled her hair. He caressed her skin. Her taste was in his mouth. They hugged. For what seemed like an eternity. It was pure.
He cupped her face. He couldn’t take his eyes of her face. It was a face of nervousness and disappointments. It was a face that had seen rejection and didn’t know how to move beyond that. It was a face from which the charade of masks had been taken off in that moment. She didn’t smile now. Her eyes went hollow. She talked about her fears. She laid her soul bare. She hadn’t felt such in a long-long time. The more he understood, the more afraid she became. Of herself. She retreated. He pulled her close.
She somehow wasn’t sure if she could love him. He wasn’t sure if he was capable of loving her true self. He just wanted to be given permission to continue loving her. He only wanted to deserve her, even if he could never have her. But he dare not speak so. And in that silence and in that confusion, lay their connection. It was as if there were a third person in that room. Watching them. Imploring them to come to terms with what they have. Encouraging them not to lose it. But they couldn’t listen. Or could they?