‘I love you for what you make me want to become.’
‘I love you for who I am when I am with you.’
‘I love the fact that you can invoke some feelings in me that no one else can; feelings that I never knew existed.’
‘I love the idea of you so much that, sometimes even in the absence of realyou, I can use it to guide my actions.’
These are a few things most of us say to our partners. I have. It’s almost like when in love, you are not in love with the person but an image of the person in your head. I have been so comfortable with this idea for so long that it appalls me now. It is quite revealing about the narcissism we all bring to love. It is thus no wonder then that much of a relationship is not based on who the other person really is, but on how we transform them in our head.