She: I am torn – whether be alone and selfish, and reach my own goals doing what I want or be with him. So the price is loneliness, which I don’t really think very bad. Or not be alone – be loved – but to convert MY dreams to OURS; ME to US. And don’t do everything I want. Become less selfish. And it sounds so general. Everyone makes this choice? Or not?
He: There’s a middle path. Always. The Buddha’s middle path. Here’s what you should do. Have a list of negotiable and non-negotiable. Keep it personal or share it with one or two people whom you trust deeply. Non-negotiables are the ones that need most attention. Try your best to put everything on the negotiable list. When you are only left with items on non negotiable that you can’t move to the negotiable side no matter how much you try, then share that list with the guy and have an open discussion about it.
She: Hmm…like, ummm, problems?
He: Not problems. More like priorities.
She: So I want to emigrate. I will. Is it non negotiable?
He: Only you can answer for yourself. Every question will have layers to it. Why do you want to emigrate? What is it about other countries that you like more? Is there a social condition that you are trying to run from? Will the life of an immigrant in a new country be better than what you have here if you work hard and reach social and financial ascendance in your country? So these are all deep questions. Only when you have the ‘right’ answers, you’ll be able to proceed. On the MIDDLE PATH!
She: I don’t appreciate my culture, national character, and that I see how hard people work but don’t achieve anything. My mom and dad and granny support me in my wish. And here we ‘this guy’ who says he is happy to live in (this town).
He: May be he has things going for him. His context is different
She: Yes, this is the deal. He is from small town by the white sea from north, and life in the capital is luxury for him
He: Hmmmm. I get. But you can explain to him how he, in a way, emigrated for a better quality of life and you’d like to do so too.
She: Good idea!!!
He: See… Your mysterious Indian friend is a little intelligent too!
She: I’ve never doubted it.
He: Means so much to get your approval; you have no idea! Haha!
She: You are silly!