She was told that she wasn’t very pretty. Repeatedly. By friends and family. She was told that she was fat and that no self-respecting guy would find her attractive. Her guy friends told her that she was one of them – a DUDE. It was all in good humor, no doubt. But it was the kind of sophisticated stereotyping that destroyed her confidence at one point. She started to believe the identity that others had forced on her. That made her see failure in everything about her.

She was vivacious. She was fun and sporty. One of the smartest and the wittiest girl around. A vocalist par excellence. A great dancer. A thoughtful writer. That was her true identity. When lonely, she would lament why ‘her people’ couldn’t appreciate that enough. She wanted to fight for herself. But she was knocked down so many times that standing up for herself caused her altitude sickness. It was all going to change now for her though. May be.


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