Existential questions


‘What’s stopping you from taking it forward?’ he was asked. ‘What do you need to know to be sure? You should be true to your feelings, you know,’ he was told.

How could he be true to himself when he didn’t even know who he was? Didn’t know what he truly wanted!?! Was his practicality winning the battle against his heart or was it the other way around? He wasn’t sure. He looked inside. It was deep and dark. But that was the only place left. Nowhere else could he search answers for such existential questions.

He wasn’t a bad person. He didn’t have sinister intentions. However, an objective review may suggest that he was concealing, even from himself, more than he should; more than he wanted to. He was concealing his insecurities, his fears, his diffidence, and his hurt. It was déjà vu. Earlier, he had made ‘an optimum choice.’ And it had worked out okay. For some time at least. But this time, he wanted to afford himself the courtesy of dynamism till the time he truly made up his mind.

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© 2020 by Rishabh Jhol